The Australian jungle had a new god that year, and its name was BDSCR: the . It was a secret, ruthless algorithm cooked up by ITV’s data analysts, designed to predict which celebrity would break first, which would thrive, and which would become a meme. For Season 13, the producers weren't just making a show; they were running a psychological pressure cooker, and the BDSCR was their silent scoreboard.

The first trial was called “Torrential Terror.” Each celebrity had to lie in a coffin-like chamber while 20 liters of rancid fish guts, blended with water from a crocodile-infested creek, poured over their heads. They had to use their mouths to retrieve five plastic stars.

The final two: Sir Alistair Finch and Lola Fox.

The jungle, as always, had the last laugh.

As the season progresses, the contestants compete in trials and challenges to win their freedom. The first celebrity to escape the jungle will be crowned the ultimate "I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!" champion. Will it be a strong and sassy Katie Price, a charming and laid-back Mark Wright, or perhaps a determined and driven [other contestant]?

The final trial was simple: “Jungle Confessions.” Each celebrity had to sit alone in a dark hut for six hours while recordings of their deepest fears played on a loop. Alistair’s fears: failure, public shame, the 1997 MP expenses scandal. He lasted four hours, then walked out, dignified but broken.

Harriet went second. She treated the scorpions as if they were a bad review from The Guardian . “You think this is vile?” she declaimed, chewing. “I performed Waiting for Godot in a prison in 1987. This is delicious by comparison.” She finished two plates, then quietly vomited into her napkin without missing a beat. Her BDSCR: 7.6—respectable, but not legendary.