Old Men Gangbang (2024)

Bernard snorted. Eugene smiled. Carla poured the coffee without being asked. Eleven seconds on the dot.

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Not for leaves or birds. For the shadow. They timed how long it took the shadow to move from the bench’s left leg to the crack in the concrete two feet away. Bernard said fifty-three minutes. Arthur said forty-eight. Eugene said it didn’t matter because the sun was a liar and time was a human mistake. They argued for twenty minutes. That was the point.

Their evening entertainment: phone calls. Bernard snorted

Bernard stared at the gear. Then he took out his red pen, uncapped it, and drew a small, perfect circle around a period on his newspaper. He handed the paper to Eugene.

They sat in silence. The shadow of the oak tree moved from the bench leg to the crack. It took fifty-one minutes. Neither of them said a word about it. Eleven seconds on the dot

On Saturday, they had a wildcard event. Last month, they tried to build a birdhouse. It collapsed. They laughed for the first time in years. Yesterday, they went to a casino. Bernard lost forty dollars and called it “tuition in human stupidity.” Arthur won twelve cents on a slot machine and kept the payout slip in his wallet. Eugene got lost in the parking garage for two hours and said it was the most interesting thing that had happened to him all year.

They did not discuss their health. They did not discuss their feelings. They discussed the cuckoo clock, the misspellings, the lost glove, the shadow of the oak tree, and the precise number of seconds it took for the Sunken Pearl’s waitress, Carla, to refill their coffee without being asked (eleven seconds—they timed her).

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